April 25, 2018

We are now with a new hospice group, Hospice of Missoula.  They seem very attentive and so sweet to Daniel.  They have interviewed Daniel so much to find out his interests and what gives him pleasure.  Their Chaplin is a Buddhist, their harpist is from the Drum Brothers so that is very interesting and made Daniel smile.  Daniel loves his current massage therapist, and they are open to hiring her so Daniel can continue with her but they also have a massage therapist who does Reiki and Reflexology, and Daniel is interested in that also.  They seem so loving and so caring.  Wow!  Isn't that what hospice is suppose to be?  

The "welcome team" even noticed my hands, the other hospice group never noticed anything about me.  My hands are so broken out, we tend to have this in my family.  At least they have stopped bleeding but they hurt so badly and I have tried everything on them.  Stress manifests in so many ways.  I used to lose weight, wish that still happened but no, now I retain weight like nobody's business.  And my hands breaks out with red rashes that itch like crazy.  Then they crack and bleed, then skin flakes and is so disgusting.  I'm embarrassed to shake hands with anyone.  I know my skin is "poking" them. 

I'm really not sure where Daniel "is" these days.  We have been spending so much time with the hospice issue.  One of our nurses is out with ACL surgery and one of our former nurses is back, YAY! We have been going through many transitions and not much time for personal talk.  We will have some time today, I hope.  

It's nice to have some diversions, however.  I know Daniel gets tired so easily.  He hasn't been wanting many visitors.  By that I mean, none, lately.  He just gets too exhausted from everything else going on. Hopefully, transitions will settle down now and he will have some more strength again.  

His stomach is acting up. I'm really not sure if it has ever settled down.  Still no key lime pie.  Not a good sign.  But he is still here so I'll take what I can get.  

I'm going to see my precious Ida today, she is 8 months old, going on 80 years old, "grandchild.  She is the daughter of one of Goddess Daughters and she makes me smile like no other.  She is this little old soul trapped in an 8 month body laughing at all of us.  I can be in the depth of despair and just watching her makes my heart sing.  There is a future out there.  There is hope and love. 

 I love both of my God-daughters, they both offer me hope for the future.  It's a slice of heaven to have them both back in my life. They are done with college and done with their twenties.  They have both explored the world and are so wise beyond their years, and I adore them.  I love the way they are so tender with Daniel, and with me.  Alyssa can lecture me on the law and what I need to be doing to protect Daniel, she even scares Kevin, LOL.   

I know so many of you are doing your own care giving, so many surgeries going on right now. I hope James and Tom are doing well.  My girlfriend group know as the Ski Team have our hands full taking care of others.  We are women who need to have a reunion soon.  Stay strong.   

I love you all.